Have you been sweating profusely for the last few days?

Have you been avoiding your wife or girlfriend’s gaze, especially during karaoke sessions at home?

Been blurting out “You’re the only one for me!” whenever your bae asks what to order for dinner?

If so, you may have been to a KTV lounge recently.

Considering how KTV lounges have become our second largest source of new COVID-19 infections, those who visited KTV lounges recently are in a sticky situation, to say the least.

Fortunately, as always, whenever there’s a gap in the market, Carousell comes up with a solution.

Carousellers Sells KTV Alibi Services for People Who Have Been to the KTVs in the COVID-19 Cluster

Some entrepreneurs are now offering “KTV alibi services” to folks trying to cover up their secret trysts.

In one listing, a Carouseller offered to “take the fall” for customers, without engaging in anything illegal.

While the excuse wasn’t specified, the Carouseller guaranteed to take the blame for the customer, “no matter how embarrassing” the situation was.

He’s selling this service for a small fee of S$500. (You can’t put a price on happiness.)

Hesitant? Well, this Carouseller is apparently an experienced deceiver; he claims to have taken the fall for countless “bros” whose indiscretions were discovered by their wives and girlfriends.

“All hate was directed only to me and they got away scot free!” the Carouseller wrote.

Textile Centre and Golden Mile Complex were listed as the two venues for a meet-up.

Other listings offered similar services, with one selling “soul-redeeming kneeling pads”.

If you don’t have S$500 lying around, then you could always tell your bae you visit a certain satay stall in Toa Payoh.

Testing Will Be Confidential

Your alibi may fool your significant other, but the authorities likely already know if you’ve visited a KTV lounge.

Fortunately, Health Ministry Ong Ye Kung announced yesterday (14 July) that the testing process for those who have visited KTV lounges or interacted with hostesses will be confidential.

He reminded these visitors to book appointments at screening centres to protect both themselves and their loved ones, assuring them that their privacy is protected.

Those who are uncomfortable coming forward for a test, should “at the very least” isolate themselves and get their family members to buy them antigen rapid tests (ARTs), he said.

They should also monitor their health for the next 14 days and minimise social interactions. And if they feel unwell, they should seek medical attention right away.

It may be embarrassing, but the health of your loved ones and fellow residents should be the priority here.

Featured Image: Facebook (Supreme KTV); Carousell