Amidst this time of crisis, it’s only fair to expect normalcy in all other aspects of one’s life.

“I’ve to live in fear of this COCKVID-20 schmuck every single day,” my good pal Ma Rai Hen reasoned. “The least I get in return’s a normal, high-functioning McDonald’s Big Mac burger, right?”

Thirsting with all the vengeance of a 40-year-old virgin, he unveiled his Big Mac burger, only to recoil in ill-concealed horror, disgust and for some reason, contempt.

“What the fk’s this? Who COCKVID’ on my burger?!” he yelled.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“JUST LOOK AT THIS! SOMEONE DID A NUMBER ON MY BURGER!”

“Well… I’m pretty sure that’s just mould, actually.”

“NO IT’S FOODPORN. IN A BAD WAY.”

Woman Alleged McDonald’s Bun is Mouldy; McDonald’s Has Responded

The introductory paragraph might’ve been one hell of an exaggerated one, but the gist remains true:

A customer had purchased a take-out Big Mac meal, only to find a little extra something on the bun.

According to Stomp, Stomper Wanita had ordered a take-out Big Mac meal at McDonald’s Yishun Safra outlet on Tuesday (18 Feb) at around 8:34 p.m.

After reaching home, however, she noticed something off about the burger.

“Once I arrived home, I unboxed the meal to have my dinner and saw this white mould on the back of the burger,” she said.

“I was not feeling well enough to bring the burger back to the outlet to show the counter staff.”

As she was not well, she was unable to head out to purchase another meal. Instead, she claimed that she had to settle for the fries.

“Since I was not well, I could not make my way down to buy any other meal.

“In the end, I could only have the fries!”

McDonald’s Has Since Spoken Out

In response to a Stomp query, a McDonald’s spokesman has given the following statement:

“McDonald’s is committed to food quality and safety and the well-being of our customers is of utmost importance.

“We have since been in contact with the customer and have addressed her concerns.

“We have also reinforced safety procedures with our restaurants.”

Well, that must’ve been a real shocker for the poor woman. I know I would’ve flipped out myself if my beloved Prosperity burger had a little something extra on it.

“Who dares to violate my burger?” I would probably yell. “Return it, return its innocence!”

But all jokes aside, we hope that McDonald’s will avoid a second coming of this particular incident. While once might be tolerable…

A second would only achieve what the COCKVID-20 is doing right now: turn people off.