Healthcare assistants. Temperature screening. Checkpoints. Three defining key words/phrases. Three very telling terms. Lest you haven’t caught on, I’m talking about the greatest threat to Humanity since Thanos’ saggy ballsack and misshapen humans the size of giants:

The Wuhan Virus, which has at reporting time claimed the lives of 106 people around the world, and infected thousands of innocent civilians.

A time of crisis indeed, and one that has had the entire country freaking out like walloped oompa loompas.

As such, it seems that Singapore’s sparing no expense when it comes to the salvation of our land, as apparently…

The country has issued an urgent notice for a whopping 300 healthcare assistants to take care of temperature screening procedures.

300 X Healthcare Assistants Needed to Assist Temperature Screening at Checkpoints

Usually, I would classify such a post as a ‘Don’t Say BoJio’, considering how the job remunerates an impressive $12/hr for a task that we’ve long been acclimatized to.

Morning temperature taking in school, anyone?

But of course, that’s under normal circumstances. Under current circumstances…

The salary’s only appropriate considering the risks you’re facing.

According to an internal source, an advert for healthcare assistants was posted on job seeking site Fast Jobs today (28 Jan 2020).

Promising a basic remuneration of at least $12/hr, the posting entailed several details:

• The location’s at Woodlands, presumably the checkpoint area
• It’ll be on a part time contractual basis
• The job operates on a 5 day/week cycle

As for the job scope, applicants are expected to:

• Assist in temperature screening at checkpoints
• Defend against the importation and exportation of infectious disease(s)

They’re also required to have the following traits:

• Good communication skills
• Good customer service attitude
• Adaptability and flexibility
• Ability to work in an environment with high security restrictions / demands

Working hours will be from 10:00 a.m. – 10:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m. to 10:00 a.m., and off days will be based off the weekly schedule in place.

Terms And Conditions

According to the job advertorial, only Singaporeans are accepted.

Notification wise, only shortlisted candidates will be informed.

They also included the following Terms & Conditions extract:

“By submitting your curriculum vitae or personal data to us in connection with your job application, you are deemed to have read and agreed to the terms of our Privacy Policy, and consented to the collection, use and disclosure of your personal data by us and our affiliates, in accordance with our Privacy Policy. Please access our website at www.kellyservices.com.sg for a copy of our Privacy Policy. If you wish to withdraw your consent, please drop us an email at click for email to let us know. All resumes and personal particulars sent to the aforementioned email address will Not be attended to as the address is not for job application purposes.”

The advert’s posted by Kelly Services (S) Pte Ltd (A PERSOLKELLY Company), and registered under a certain Mugunthan Kumar Subramani.

The job application ends on 18 Feb 2020.

And hopefully sooner, because that’d have meant we’ve won the battle against the Wuhan virus.

Tough Times Ahead

Humans are a funny race. In peacetime, we crave for excitement: interesting stuff to happen. And yet when shit hits the fan and the world enters a practical movie scene, everyone bails out and starts screaming for their mamas.

A slight exaggeration there, but you get my point.

Nevertheless, I’m sure that we’ll manage to pull through this, as we did for all the calamities that have befallen us in previous times. As long as we stay united, humanity’ll surely live to see another day.

Also, to all the applicants for the temperature-taking job, kudos. By making sure that every entrant to Singapore’s checked, you guys are helping to safeguard your homeland.

And for that, we thank you. 

Kudos, and please give them a pay raise already.