When I was just seven years old, I conveyed my deepest fear to my parents.
“Mum, Dad, I’ve something to tell you…”
“What is it sonny? You can tell us anything,” my dad said with a grin.
“Yes erzi,” my mum added, flashing an encouraging smile. “Don’t be shy.”
Emboldened by their receptiveness, I proceeded to tell them my deepest, darkest secret. Slowly, their expressions shifted, from ones of caring parental love to emoticons found only in the dark web. They gradually turned to face each other, and nodded simultaneously.
I was wheeled to a psychiatrist the very next morning.
Suffice it to say; I never brought up the topic ever again. But that’s not to say that I’ve gotten over it. No. Rather, I keep it close to my heart, out of earshot because nobody’s gonna believe me anyway.
“That will never happen, son,” my parents said. “That will never happen.”
They didn’t believe in my fear. They dismissed it as an impossible notion. But I knew better. And now, nearly eighteen whole years later…
It has happened.
Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I present my greatest fear:
Shocked Man Finds Large Cobra Hiding In His Toilet Bowl Just Before He Used It
It’s ridiculous no matter how you read it.
An entire cobra hiding within the narrow neck of a toilet system? Impossible.
But I knew better. And true to my childhood fears… it has happened.
So lest you’re unaware, cobras aren’t a fancy term for hot venomous bras you use to seduce Donald Trump. No, they look like this:
And chances are, they pack enough venom to knock an entire ecosystem out.
So yeah, they’re definitely not something to be trifled with. Especially not when your butt’s at risk.
According to World Of Buzz, a Thai man in Bangkok had embarked on a routine trip to the bathroom (which was near the garage) when he chanced upon a large cobra hiding in his toilet.
Talk about a nasty shitblock.
Detailing the experience in a post on Facebook, the man entailed his initial shock at the snake’s presence, and how he had identified it as a cobra through its clear markings.
Additionally, he also shared photos of the incident, some of which showed him trying to extricate the reptile from its cosy hiding place.
As expected, however, the cobra didn’t take kindly to its overdue eviction notice. As he tried to pull it out from the toilet bowl, the cobra could be seen hissing in an evidently non-civil manner.
I’m sure it didn’t help that the cobra’s one large critter either.
Though if there’s any silver lining, it’s that no one used the toilet before him.
Always Check Your Toilet Seat Before You Fire Away
It’s easy to throw caution to the winds when you open the toilet stall.
“Surely it’s fine!” you exclaim dismissively as you set about your cannonball business.
But having read this particular excerpt, I feel it my duty to remind you that toilet systems aren’t just where your master creations get suckled and funneled.
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They’re also dark places where ‘illegal immigrants’ have started calling home.
So for your sake, and for your butt’s sake, check before you pull down those pants.
And even if you’re really secure in Singapore’s drainage safety, at least check when you visit Bangkok.
You don’t want it to become Bangbutt, do you?
